I was a student at University studying to be a Lawyer, and was on my way home on the train for Christmas.
My father would normally pick me up from the station.
Instead, my brother Andy was there.
Right there on the train platform he told me that dad had died in his arms that morning.
These were the days before mobile phones, and so as I travelled home, I was unaware of what had happened.
For three days, my grief overwhelmed me.
I went into a state of shock, where my body wouldn’t stop shaking. I couldn’t eat or sleep, and could barely speak.
And then, on the third day, came an extraordinary and overwhelming felt sense of ‘his presence’ there in the room with me.
At that moment, various in-explicable things happened in three different rooms in the house-lights switching on, vases of flowers moving, and a book flying off from a shelf.
Instead of provoking fear, these un-explained ‘happenings’ created a miraculous healing within me, and my grief instantly transformed into a sense of peace, and calm.
I ‘knew’ that although he had passed from his body, and his body had ‘died’ that his Spirit remained. The message couldn’t have been clearer, and a message like that was impossible to ‘forget.’
The book that fell from the shelf was a book called The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran. It opened at the page which read:
Brief were my days among you, and briefer still the words I have spoken.
But should my voice fade in your ears, and my love vanish in your memory, then I will come again,
And with a richer heart and lips more yielding to the spirit will I speak.
Yea, I shall return with the tide,
And though death may hide me, and the greater silence enfolds me, yet again will I seek your understanding.
And not in vain will I seek.
If aught I have said is truth, that truth shall reveal itself in a clearer voice, and in words more kin to your thoughts.
I go with the wind, people of Orphalese, but not down into emptiness;
And if this day is not a fulfilment of your needs and my love, then let it be a promise till another day. Know, therefore, that from the greater silence I shall return.”
We read this passage at my father’s funeral on Christmas eve.
This video and song was recorded at his graveside at Barnoon Cemetery overlooking the sea in St Ives.Amazing Grace was one of his favourite hymns.
Helen Tanner is a Qualified Creative Psychotherapist and Forgiveness Guide who offers a unique programme for self-compassion and forgiveness. Explore the programme in more depth here, and if you’re ready to start your own journey, or simply want to discuss it further, contact Helen on +44(0)7768968189 or at email@example.com.